So I’ve done it again… it’s been a whole year since my last post!
We had another kid this year. Yup, really. A beautiful little girl, so by my count that’s 3 girls, which is a whole other level of insanity. (Poor Ben!)
Zoe (now a middle child!) Is essentially a normal 3 year old at this point. She is down to just a shunt in her head (that drains excess spinal fluid down to her bowel) and an MRI under general anaesthetic every 4 months (which have so far all been clear!) She is loving being a big sister, introducing Lily to any passing stranger that makes eye contact with her!
So, with the small amounts of spare time that I do get, I scroll rapidly through Facebook searching for any scraps of news – or gossip – that may interest me.
Other than the catastrophe that is the U.S. Presidential race, and the disaster that the Olympic Games are and will continue to be, I have mostly been following some great blogs. My favourite at the moment is a woman called Constance Hall.
Constance is quite the polarising figure. She is all at once the “Queen” of insanity, chaos, nudity and swearing. But also a huge supporter of individuality, family units, and loving the skin you are in. Personally, I love her total and complete honesty that makes her reader feel ok to be human. She makes it ok to feel like every once in a while I can have a day where no laundry, cleaning of homework is done, but instead we bake something terrible for the waistline and watch Frozen on repeat and I do not feel like I am failing my kids in any way.
Sometimes, us mums can get pretty judgy… I have to be honest I’ve found myself (on more than one occasion) reading an article and thinking to myself “what a terrible mother” or “what kind of person would do that to their child”
To be fair on my judgemental-ness, a lot of those times, the parent has put their child in some kind of danger which is just not ok under any circumstances!
But these other times, when it comes down to diet, religion, fitness, any personal choices really, we can get very het up about what we think is the right choice.
A very good example of this is the breastfeeding vs formula “debate”. I truly believe that this should not even be a debate. There is only one choice that is best for baby and mum. I bet you think you know which one I’d choose to promote… but you’d be wrong.
My personal view is that what’s best for baby and mother is… WHATEVER MUM DECIDES.
Whether breastfeeding or formula feeding, as long as bubs is getting nutrition, other mums can just stay out if it!
Discussion about recent research regarding the pros and cons of each should still definitely happen and be encouraged to happen more often, and events like the “Big Latch On” are wonderful opportunities for mums to show their support for each other.
It is the judging that needs to stop. We need to check our egos at the door. We all want what is best for our children and no matter what other decisions we make, we need to make a conscious decision to be supportive of our fellow mums. Only then will we be able to stop this cycle of judging and guilt.
Being a mother is the most rewarding, draining, loving, thankless, sweet and sour job you can do so why make it hard on other mums when you know how hard it is for you?
I have made a promise to myself to take every piece of advice I get from other mums as just that, advice, and I will do for my children as my heart and my head tell me.
If there’s one thing you can take from reading this, it is the same thing I learnt from Constance Hall, and that is: do what you can with what life hurls at you and don’t judge others for doing the same!
Peace, Love and Light Fellow Queens (and Kings!)